Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Finding Solace in a Poem and In Songs...

by: Mhe-anne L. Ojeda
I don't have to tell the world the details of what happened but I won't be in denial as well coz it will just prolong the pain. My beautiful relationship with my recent singular someone for almost 5 years is over. It wasn't because of a fight coz we didn't fight (at all) except admittedly I got mad at him over petty things on month end (lol). He has been a perfect boyfriend, that's why letting him go hurts so bad. But I understand him, he has been really confused about the "us" in our relationship and that he had been praying about it for a while. But he doesn't know how long it will take to feel ready and doesn't want me to wait around. That's fair, so I don't blame him for it. 
I am a bit ok now. Not completely coz it has only been three nights ago. But I want to start anew tomorrow so I am writing this to leave the past behind and face a new day. Prayers (much of it), crying (drums full), family support (by letting me be alone in my room and respecting my silence), phone calls from BFF and someone who has recently experienced what I'm going through, a poem  "Reason, Season, or Lifetimeand four upbeat songs from You Tube helped me be optimistic and able to handle my emotions much easier. 
Excerpts from the "Season, Reason and Lifetime" Poem
"
When someone is in your life for a REASON,

it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
to provide you with guidance and support;
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part
or at an inconvenient time,

this person will say or do something
to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die. 
Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met,
our desire fulfilled; their work is done.

The prayer you sent up has been answered
and now it is time to move on."

XXX

— Unknown 
He is indeed godsend. And so now that he walked away, it is time to move on. But yes, it is difficult. it's heartbreaking. So my mantra is in this song "Someone Like You" by Adele which was sang superbly by Charlie Puth and Emily Luther.
"Someone Like You"
"I had hoped you'd see my face 

and that you'd be reminded

That for me it isn't over.



Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead"

He said he won't forget me, so I guess I don't have to beg him to not forget me. In fact he said he loves me and will continue to love me (maybe only until he found the girl who will make him feel ready). And that makes this song "Something About Loveby David Archuleta plays in my head...


Something About Love :

"There's somethin' 'bout love that breaks your heart
Woah, oh, oh, oh. It sets you free
There's somethin' 'bout love that tears you up
Woah, oh, oh, oh. You still believe


When the world falls down like rain
It'll bring you to your knees
Somethin' 'bout love that breaks your heart
Woah, oh, oh, oh, But don't give up
There's something 'bout love


Your day will come, The past is gone
So take your time, Live and let live



Hang on

Hang in for the ride of your life

It's gonna be alright

Hold on tight"



I will hold on tight. Take my time and let live, although I don't know exactly how to carry on without him, as this song "Breaking Againby my fave duet Charlie Puth and Emily Luther...




                                             Well I'm crying And I'm dying

                           Cause I really thought that you would be the one

                                                  And I tried to stand beside you

But it was over way before it had begun

I like to think it's all ok

And one day you'll come back and stay with me
Come and stay with me

But now you're gone
                                  And I don't know if I can carry on (carry on)
                                                               
Lately, everyday now
I go to bed and sleep my life away 'till four
Cause I don't know (cause I don't know)
What it feels like (what it feels like)
To not wake up and run a mile right to your door"


The final song captures exactly what I want to tell him. But since it would be better not to communicate while we are both grieving, I know I will have to keep my feelings for awhile. Not if the song will tell him - "Wasn't It Good?" by Tina Arena. Being with him for so long was the best years of my life, planning our dreams, hopes and lives together, having someone to trust with my deepest thoughts and feelings... it was great. I hope he feels the same way!






                                           "Wasn't It Good"
Wouldn't you know it I've lost my courage
Isn't that funny, me lost for words
Not that it really matters, 'cause I know you know
And you would have told me yourself if you could

Remember the first time, we met each other
You were in your world and I was in mine
Breaking down the barriers, we broke all the rules
But wasn't it good, wasn't it fine
While I took for granted, you took your time
Longing for love oh how we tried
It's over now that's understood, but wasn't it good

So long together, two would be lovers
Caring for flowers that just wouldn't grow
And in all of our tomorrows, we'll have yesterday
And wasn't it good, wasn't it fine
While I took for granted, you took your time
Longing for love, oh how we tried
It's over now that's understood

But wasn't it good?"



xxx THE END xxx



22 comments:

  1. I'm so sad. I wish I didnt have to read this and know of you heartbreak. I wish it didnt happen to you. On the bright side, you now know he's not the one to build home with. And you should know, A lot of guys will be glad you are now single! Hugs and prayer that you recover soon, your heart stitched together and your cheerful self shiny again. Love you Mhe. - May

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  2. I'm so sorry to hear about what happened. It hurts but at least he respected you enough to let you go and give you a chance to be happy even without him. Lesser men would have kept up the facade and hurt you so much more.

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  3. I'm so sorry to learn about your break-up Ms Mhe-Anne. Hopefully things would fall into place soon.
    Please be alright. :/

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  4. Oh dear... Five years... I don't think I would have survived as gracefully as you if I had to break up with someone I'd been with that long. I salute your courage.

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  5. Sad story of yours. Hope you can still move on and live a beautiful life

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  6. Mhe-Anne, I hope you carry on. This will pass.

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  7. I know we've only met online. But for the first time that we exchanged meaningful conversations, I knew that you were a really devoted, caring, and determined individual. I appreciated your words. I hope I could do the same for you, Mhe-Anne --- No words can ever experience this kind of hurt. You are a strong woman, you've managed to show that through your sentiments. Just keep praying.. that someday, you and your love will come to terms and be in each other's arms again. You'll never know.. as absence makes the heart grow fonder.

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  8. I'm used to friends and myself going through things like this, but i'm more sad hearing this from you. Maybe because you're an amazing woman and deserves better. But, all is not lost - there's still chances waiting to be found or a much better one awaits you - and I'm damn sure there is...more of it Atty.

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  9. You're not alone, Mhe-Anne. You have us who care about you. As Marky said on FB, if you want to meet up, just say the word.

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  10. hugs for you.... awwww..... don't wanna say much but yeah i know how it feels kaya sending power hugs for you nalang ako....

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  11. Some love stories are meant to end this way. Sad. I know it hurts but just as your previous post said: BE OPTIMISTIC. Yet again, at these times I know it's pretty hard to cling on to this word but I'm pretty sure that soon you'll find the reason why this thing has to happen. Never mind, you'll find someone like him soon...or someone better - someone whom God meant you for.

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  12. makes me want to revisit writing poetry

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  13. I have read a literature this morning and it was quite a blow on my head because it ended up sad. I do believe that everything in this world associates with misery and solace.

    I love your songs choices, Adele and David Archie are those of the singers I long to be singing like.

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  14. sorry to hear about your break-up. and please do believe me when I say this, NO. you will not find someone like him. YOU WILL FIND SOMEONE BETTER. :)

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  15. don't get tired to believe in love.. when we fall-in-love, we must accept the fact that we will get hurt too, but that life.. believe in love and love will find you :)

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  16. many years ago, the person I wanted in my life but couldn't have said to me when we decided to part ways..."time makes the heart forget"...he was right, so move on, create other memories, don't look back, stay optimistic.

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  17. So much pain...
    unbearable agony and It almost leave you insane.
    But GOD Almighty is never deaf to hear even the most
    silent PRAYERS... HE heard you and now... you will
    suffer NO MORE. May you find the STRENGTH within
    yourself with the grace of our LORD.

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  18. Ang dami nating broken hearted Atty. :( same here, just ended a 5 year relationship. I was insane since Decmeber but i carried it well. :) Travelling helps a lot. I am not perfectly well though but in time I will. :) I know that. :) And i know, you will too. :)

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  19. "someone like you" is masochistic, should be "someone better". lotsa hugs from silver_honeypot.

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  20. cry it out! shout it out! punch someone! write it out! pray about it! go crazy over it! keep silent about it! sleep on it! meditate on it! travel more! laugh about it!!! just do what you think is necessary...

    we support you all the way!

    just move on after ok? love has never left you.

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